Today is a very special day. My sweet baby boy is officially a 1 year old as of 12:17 pm. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he has already been in my life for a whole year. I guess it’s true what they say, time flies when you’re having fun!

And boy, have we had fun! Every single day has been such a joy with this little guy. He has more personality than most adults, and his sense of humor is a riot. I mean it, this kid is hilarious! He is sweet, affectionate, daring, and adventurous. He is a dancing machine. All we have to say is “shake it”, and he busts a move. He is ours, and we could not love him more.

Actually, that’s not true. Every night when I lay in bed and say my prayers with his soft hair tickling my nose I think to myself that I couldn’t love him more. But then, I wake up to his beautiful smile in the morning and my heart swells with a love that seemed to double overnight.

It is during those prayers that I thank God, every night, for choosing ME to be his mommy. He is so special, he’s perfect, and I get to be his mommy. I have no idea what I did to deserve such an amazing blessing but I vow to spend everyday of the rest of my life being the best mother I possibly can.

Everything that I do is for Jaxton. He is the reason I get out of bed every morning and the reason I stay up too late writing. He is the reason that I work from home. Without him, I may have never found the courage to earn money doing what I love, writing. Being able to do it from home while he sleeps in my arms makes it the best job in the world.

He is my everything. Every breath I take is for him. Every decision I make is made with his best interest in mind. His daddy and I often wonder what we ever did without him to entertain us every day. He has taken over our lives in every way, and we love it.

I now have a whole new respect for parents. I learn something everyday, about myself, about parenting, about the world. It is amazing how much a baby can teach you.

Being a mom, loving someone like this, it’s what I was meant to do. I will never earn 6 figures. I probably won’t go to grad school. I may not even ever work outside of the home again. But I will raise one heck of a child, and hopefully more than one.

I firmly believe that the day I became Jaxton’s mom was the day that I found my place in the world. I’m not afraid to admit that I believe I am a wonderful mom because being Jaxton’s mom is what I was meant to do.

I may not do everything the way everyone else does. I admit, Jax is spoiled. I admit that it is often hard to get things done because I never put him down. But if the fact  that he’s already a year old tells me anything, it’s that he is growing up FAST! I’ve said it before and I will say it again, there will be a day that he doesn’t want to be held. One day he will be too big to take a bath with mommy. Someday all too soon he won’t want to sit in my lap. So right now, there is NOTHING more important than loving my baby boy while he’s a baby.

He won’t be a baby much longer. He is already trying to do everything his daddy does. He climbs everything as high as he can go. He started walking at 9 months, now he’s running, jumping, climbing… At play dates, he often opts to mingle with the big kids. Slow down Jax!

He has a great little group of baby friends that have been such a blessing. I don’t know who enjoys our play dates more, the babies or the mommies. We are both so lucky to have such great friends and it has been so fun to watch our babies grow up together.

While I admit that I have shed a few tears because he is 1 already, it is a happy day! It’s Jaxton’s day. The birthday boy is asleep in my arms now but when he wakes up we are going to get back to spoiling him rotten.

Happy Birthday sweet sweet baby boy. You are such a lucky boy to be so loved by so many people. You are the best thing to ever happen to us and we will spend the rest of our lives showing you how much we love you!

My little pumpkin:)

Last night, while out to dinner with my little family, I had someone tell me that he missed reading my blogs. I was so touched that he 1) reads my blogs, 2) enjoys them and misses them and 3) admits that he enjoys them. It was a major confidence booster and it inspired me to make some time in my ridiculous schedule to blog today.

My life has been hectic lately. We just bought a new car, a big SUV that seats 7. You know what that means… room for 4 more BABIES!!!

Jax likes it, for a car. He is getting better about being in the car. He still freaks out but he doesn’t act like someone is hurting him anymore, he just whines. The DVD player is helping a little… Hopefully he continues to improve because next month we are DRIVING to Florida to visit my parents. This is in no way, shape, or form my idea. My husband refuses to fly and refuses to leave the dog…. So if Jax and I want to see our Nana and Papa this is our only choice. Add us to your prayers now if you would please.

That’s another thing… My parents who I am super close to, just packed up and went to Florida for the next 3 months. They talked about it for years but I never thought it would actually happen. Seriously, I was in denial up until the day they left. I really didn’t think they would be able to leave me. Ok I didn’t think they would be able to leave Jax. And they almost didn’t. There are bets on how long my mom will last and I’m thinking whoever chose the shortest amount of time may win. She’s missing us. I am missing her too. I told her now my husband is going to realize she’s the one who has been cleaning my house the past 8 months. I kid… kinda.

I have been busy with writing, the real kind that pays. Without a babysitter now… which is like nearly impossible for me. And Jax has been busy growing. He is over 20 lbs now and at least 6 feet tall. He’s crawling, climbing, walking behind his push toy, and standing up for about 10 seconds at a time. He is working on some top teeth. He says ball, bye, hi… he makes fishy kissy lips, he screams.

When he’s doing something he shouldn’t and we say “Jax” he turns around and looks at us and says “bad boy”. We didn’t teach him that… he obviously picked it up from us scolding the dog. Time to watch what we say!!!

Sorry there was no creativity to this post whatsoever… I really hope to find some sort of schedule and a way to keep it all going here soon. If any SuperMoms have an extra cape I would LOVE to borrow it!

Like the rest of the country, I am remembering where I was 10 years ago today on September 11, 2001. The day that life as an American was forever changed as our country fell victim to senseless terrorist attacks.

I was a Junior in high school sitting in my 3rd period chemistry class when our principal came over the announcements and said something along the lines of ”You might want to turn on your tvs. I think history is being made right now.” So we watched… as smoke poured from that first tower that the plane had hit, and we talked.

I had NO idea what was going on but I was sure it had been an accident. Why would anyone do that on purpose? But when the second plane hit, I was just confused.

It wasn’t until the bell rang and I moved onto 4th period that I began to understand the seriousness of the situation. You could see it in the faces of the teachers in the hallway. There would be no learning today… We were under attack. The rest of the day was spent in front of the TV. I remember watching towers collapse, watching people jump from windows, hearing reports of other hi-jacked planes… But it’s mostly a blur.

By the time I got home there were numbers coming in. Thousands of lives lost. Police officers and firefighters were trapped beneath the rubble and unaccounted for. I remember the moment it hit me… I was no longer a naïve kid, suddenly I understood. This was deliberate. The terrorists succeeded. Life would never be the same.

I remember hugging my dad and crying for the families that lost loved ones and for the thousands who were desperately waiting to hear if their loved ones were alive. My dad tried to comfort me, but he was just as shocked and afraid, probably more afraid. As a firefighter and having served in the Navy, he understood far better than I.

I think about that moment now, now that I am a parent myself. Yesterday there was footage of the second plane crashing into the tower on the tv and I caught Jaxton watching. He was mesmerized. It was like he couldn’t tear himself away. Obviously he had no idea what he was watching but I still covered his 7-month-old eyes and turned off the TV. I do not want my baby to have to see such horror, ever.

So I wonder how my parents felt as I was old enough to feel the effects, but too young and naïve to fully understand what happened on that day 10 years ago. They could not simply cover my eyes and turn off the TV, it was everywhere and life would never be the same. What do you say to a child? How do you explain?

10 years later it still hurts. I am so proud of my country and so proud to be an American. I know one day I will have to tell my children what happened. I know they won’t understand the severity of the event because it will seem like something that happened a hundred years ago. I will tell them about being in 3rd period chemistry… But they won’t understand how much it changed my life. Just like it didn’t seem like a real big deal to me when my mom told me where she was when JFK was shot… until 9/11.

I pray that there is never an “until” for my kids. I pray that they never experience anything remotely close to September 11th. I pray that our country continues to rise up and dust ourselves off and be a force to be reckoned with so that our children never have to tell their children where they were when life as they knew it changed forever.

Apparently not 61 lbs.

I recently read an article about women who “brag” about how much weight they gain when pregnant. That’s what it said. That it’s annoying when women try to one up each other when it comes to weight gain.

I’m sorry, what?! People actually brag about gaining a lot of weight? Where are these women and why aren’t they my friends?

I personally have a much bigger problem with women who brag about how little they gain. You know the type, “Oh I only gained 11 lbs and it was all at the end”. Ugh how annoying are they? First of all, it’s obnoxious. Second of all, you are supposed to gain weight. If you aren’t smart enough to take advantage of a free pass to gain weight that is your choice but don’t make the rest of us feel guilty because we take eating for 2 very seriously.

So, you are only supposed to gain 25-35 lbs if you are at a normal weight before becoming pregnant. Well… I didn’t get the memo. Honestly, I hit the 20 pound mark at about week 20. I gained a few more than 35 lbs… like 26 more. Ooops.

I kept waiting for the doctor to yell at me, but he never said a word. At about week 30 I yelled at the nurse for saying my weight out loud when my husband was there.

None of my other pregnant friends gained as much as I did so I kept it my dirty little secret. But now that it’s off (thank you nursing, no thanks to ho-hoes for lunch), I don’t mind sharing that I gained 61 lbs. Just in case there is anyone else out there who is ashamed of their pregnancy weight…

True story: I was at the grocery store the other day and an employee that I don’t know asked me how parenting was going. I told him I loved it. He said “Yeah I remember you coming in here all big and pregnant. I kept thinking that poor girl hasn’t had her baby yet?” I said “Yeah I was pretty big.” He said “Oh honey, you were huge. I thought you were having twins.”

Yikes…. and they say you get bigger every time?

I remember telling my husband that I was going to try my wedding dress on every anniversary to make sure I wasn’t getting too comfortable in my wedded bliss. Thank God he must not have been listening (typical), because this was me on our 1st wedding anniversary:

And I was pregnant for a whole month after this!!

So, I confess, I gained 61 lbs. What’s your number?

New Mommy lesson of the week: Be SURE that your baby’s doctor has your current contact information.

If I had thought to give the doctor’s office my new cell phone number, I could have avoided my SCARIEST moment in parenting thus far…

So last week (Tuesday), we took Jaxton to the doctor when he had a rash. Because of fevers and irritability, they did a throat culture to rule out strep. It came back negative and so she assumed he was recovering from whatever bug or virus he had picked up. The rash cleared up by Thursday and he seemed back to his normal self in no time.

But yesterday I went to the mailbox and found a sloppily hand written letter from Jaxton’s doctor’s office.

It said :

We have been unable to reach you by phone. It is VERY IMPORTANT (underlined) that you call the hospital and have Jaxton’s doctor paged. She needs to speak with you about Jaxton IMMEDIATELY.

What?! Are you kidding me?! I couldn’t get up my driveway fast enough. Seriously, I was in my golf cart and it was going so slow…. I called the hospital and they paged the doctor. In the time that it took for her to call me back a million things were going through my head…. He had meningitis, he had cancer… why hadn’t they just sent the ambulance out to get him if he was so sick?! Who sends a LETTER in 2011?!?!

Thank God it only took the doctor about 4 minutes to call me. Once she realized who I was and who my baby is she said that his culture grew. So my poor little baby had strep. BUT he doesn’t have meningitis…or any of the other life-threatening diseases that I had diagnosed him with since the mailbox. She said he was probably over it by now but she still wanted to run some antibiotics to be sure.(On a side note, I am bummed that he has already had strep at 7 months. I struggled with throat infections for years and finally had my tonsils removed at 23. I would hate to see Jax suffer the same issues. But for now, I’m just relieved it wasn’t something worse).

I can’t even describe how scared I was in those 10 minutes from mailbox to phone call. It was HELL. I thank God every day for my healthy baby boy. I have all the admiration and respect in the world to the amazingly strong parents who care for babies with health problems. They are the biggest heroes in my eyes. I like to think that if need be, I would be strong for my baby. But after that scare, I’m not so sure how useful I would be. I was a mess!

Last night as we went to bed, I kissed my baby boy about a hundred extra times and while I thank God for baby and his health every day, the man upstairs got an extra earful of gratitude from this relieved mommy last night.

So, my *tip* of the day: avoid receiving a scary note like I did and make sure your doctor has your current phone number! I lost my phone in June and it didn’t occur to me to tell the doctor’s office that I got a new number. What a mess!

The Cutest Buckeye Fan EVER (in my humble opinion)

Well, we have another first for the books…. Baby’s first football game. Sure he’s already watched the Brown’s a few times but his first Buckeye’s game is a whole ‘nother  story!

Finally, after 9 long months… the day is finally here. It is BUCKEYE football season again! (Not just football season).

After what was the longest most depressing off- season EVER for Buckeye fans, it is time for our boys to suit up and show all our haters why they hate us. I hear that Buckeye fans are among the most “arrogant” and hated in the nation. Personally, I love us.

My Jaxton is pumped to don his scarlet and grey and cheer on his team. He has been playing with his OSU football all morning. (He calls it playing. I call it practicing).

Jax attended his first Buckeyes game in the womb. Naturally, I have a picture of my belly with the field in the background. He loved it. Seriously, he went crazy. In fact, whenever I watched any college football while pregnant Jax was very active. I have witnesses. He loves it!

I am hoping to take him to a game later this year. I am sure it will be a disaster and I may end up thinking “WHY did I bring a baby to this game?” But I want him to be able to say he went to a game every year of his life… so in the end it will be worth it.

Now to convince the husband… But that’s easy.

Hope everyone enjoys their game day! Unless you are cheering for Michigan… Go Bucks!!

So last night I saw in an interview where Angelina Jolie was talking about her 35 kids. She said something about how much she enjoys spending time with them. Then she said she has considered just staying home with them and not working but then she “wouldn’t feel like her life had much worth.”

Awesome. Well if I wasn’t already team Aniston, you better believe I am now. My husband, who loves Angelina, even said “why would she say that?”

Sorry Angelina, but if you actually took care of your kids instead of just adopting them to make yourself look like a hero and then pawning them off on nannies, you might know how worthwhile a Mommy’s life can be.

Ok, I don’t really know that Angelina pawns her kids off on nannies, I’m just venting.

I wonder if Angelina would have known that Jaxton’s fevers all weekend were due to a virus. I thought he was just teething but Monday night he started getting a little rash on his face. By yesterday afternoon it had spread all over so I called the doctor. She said that with his fevers, his irritability over the weekend, and his rash it looks like he’s picked up a virus.

Ooops. I dropped the ball on that one, poor baby. Sunday night was one of those screaming all night long, stressed out mommy and baby nights that I made the mistake of mentioning that I hadn’t had yet. And now I know it’s because my sugar was sick.

The doctor assured me that I did the right thing by treating his fevers with Tylenol and that they wouldn’t have had me do anything differently but I still feel so bad.

So now I have a polka-dot baby… So far today I have snuggled my sick baby, fed him, rocked him, put him to sleep, bathed him, and sang to him while he rests and fights this virus. I hope Angelina doesn’t think my day has been worthless.

I am convinced that I am going to raise the perfect child, the next time around.

Poor Jax, he’s like my test dummy. I am definitely learning from my mistakes here.

Not that I am saying I did anything wrong. FYI, I am never wrong.

He may be a little bit high maintenance, some may even say spoiled, I say extra-loved. But I meant for him to be like that. He is my first born and he will always be my baby. I love that he wants his mommy to hold him all the time. The fact that everything takes me twice as long as it should because I have to do it one handed is only a minor inconveinance. Honestly.

I say it all the time, the day will come all too soon that he doesn’t want me to hold him anymore. So until then, by God I am going to hold my baby! I still don’t understand why this is such a problem for eveyone else in my life. It’s not their arm that gets tired… and for the record, neither does mine. I can hold that little 18 pounder on my left hip all day long and my left arm is still going strong at midnite. My husband holds him for 10 minutes and he’s whining about his arm being tired… And men are the stronger sex? We do know that’s a joke right?

So anyway, like I said, I am fine with my baby needing to be held. He is seriously going to be walking soon and I think these days are dwindling… but there is one problem that has come about due to his love of being in mommy’s arms. He HATES the car seat.

Seriously. It is making our lives hell. He acts like he is being taken over by aliens as soon as I strap him into the torture chamber that is his car seat. I have tried everything, mirrors, songs, toys, only driving at nap time, switching to the big boy seat, sitting in the back with him, nothing helps.

You do know that I live a half hour from any type of real town with a decent store, right? My friends, play dates, food, anything we could need is literally a half hour of mind numbing screams and tears away.  It is exhausting. I feel for him. I really do. It is literally the only time in his life that he cries and is not immediately picked up and consoled, and that has to be confusing for him.

I also feel for me. I feel like a prisoner out here in the middle of nowhere. I try to avoid driving anywhere as much as I can. We pretty much only drive to town about once a week and I try to pack all my errands into that one day. And even only doing it once is enough to stress me to the max. You should see all the greys on my 26-year-old head, it’s ridiculous. But listening to my sweet boy scream and cry for me to pick him up and not being able to is so upsetting. When we showed up at our play date last week we both had red-rimmed eyes from the road trip. It is just so hard.

So this is me admitting that there is one slight drawback to my baby wanting to be held all the time… As I think about this week’s play date and grocery shopping, I can feel my blood pressure going up.

My next baby is always going to sleep in the car!

We are smack dab in the middle of a know-it-all mommies-on-a-power-trip-epidemic!

Why why why do moms have to be so mean and brutal to each other? I understand that our kids are our most prized possessions. My Jaxton is my whole world. I spend every second of my day devoting myself to his every need. My life revolves around him. When someone criticizes my parenting beliefs and practices that is like criticizing me as a person.

There are so many different parenting styles out there. There are the attached, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, nursing on demand moms. There are cry-it-out parents who encourage independence and confidence in their own way from an early age. And there are a million different styles in between. There is no right way. Nothing works for every baby. That is why I am my baby’s mommy and you are your baby’s mommy.

But yet mom’s convince themselves that their way is the ONLY way. They think that anyone who doesn’t do things the way they do are wrong. And they can be downright nasty about it.

Now I know I’m extra sensitive. I’ve made that clear. I don’t even want the tiniest bit of advice unless I ask for it. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about moms accusing other moms of abuse and scarring their babies for life because they let their baby cry-it-out. Really? It’s not my style of choice but give me a freaking break people.

I follow groups like Today Mom’s and Babycenter on Facebook. They post articles related to babies and parenting. These articles cover controversial topics such as cry-it-out and vaccinations and I watch everyday as WWIII breaks out in the comments. It is just plain crazy!

I get that we are passionate about our jobs as mommies. Moms have the most important jobs in the world. To have someone question our work is upsetting, infuriating actually. So why can’t everyone just mind their own business?

I’m not going to lie. I read status updates of people I know daily that make me wrinkle my forehead and question their parenting choices. But never in a million years would I butt in where I don’t belong. Unless of course I thought there was a child in danger.

Sure, I think my way is the best way… For me and MY baby. But you will never see me degrading someone else as a mother simply because she doesn’t breastfeed or hold her baby as much as much as I do. Can’t we all just get along?

I keep track of all Jaxton’s firsts. Recenlty, a friend found my list of firsts and she and my sister made fun of me. Apparently it’s overkill to write down the date that your baby discovers his “weewee”?

Anyway, I knew that my baby’s first fever would come at some point. I dreaded it. I have pictured myself sweating it out with a screaming baby all night long. I envisioned ice baths and pedialite. I have convinced myself he had a fever at least once a week since he was born. He always feels warm to me and my husband always says I’m crazy.

But last night when he woke up at 4:30 am to eat, I reached over to comfort him (yes, he sleeps with me, what about it?) and he was hot! His little cheeks were flushed and his tummy and back were burning up. I felt a moment of panic and then I pulled it together.

I woke my husband for a second opinion and he agreed. Almost 7 months in and we had our first fever. Not bad if you ask me.

I kept my cool (no pun intended) about it and didn’t even call 911 or my mom. Go figure, his Nana goes out of state for the first time in Jaxton’s life and he gets a fever. Ha, and they think they are retiring to Florida, we don’t think so!

My husband was the nervous one, fevers confuse him. But the baby was happy, he ate, and he didn’t act sick so I knew it was probably a fever due to teething. The thermometer told us what we already knew, we had our first fever.

Quite frankly, in the 5 months of torture that has come with teething I can’t believe this is his first fever. But there are now 2 little toothers trying to make their way through.

Jax took his Tylenol that isn’t really Tylenol and rolled over to go back to sleep. My husband was shocked. That never happens. I explained that the fever was probably making him extra tired.

But in my head I’m thinking really? That’s it? He didn’t even scream. I’m not even sweating. I don’t have to bathe him in ice? I know, I know… I’m dramatic. But this is really what goes on inside my head,

But Jax is a trooper. The fever made him tired. He got his meds and his milk and he was happy. He slept so well last night. That was the only time we woke up all night. He slept until 8:30! We haven’t had a night that good in weeks, months maybe. I feel guilty celebrating it, but it was just so nice.

I must just be a glutton for punishment because I was expecting so much worse. I am cautiously relieved. When am I going to have the chaotic nights that new moms always have in the movies? I feel like I’m running out of time to have my sleepless nights, puke in my hair, screaming child, new-mom breakdown… But so far things have gone so smoothly it’s scary. Surely I’m not just that awesome?